The Rain Clouds

I am a big people person. I love meeting people, making new friends, advocating for people. I am also anti-social and a big crybaby. I love being home, and not using my voice at all. I would love to scroll on TikTok all day or watch my new found favorite kid show, Bluey-- Quite literally obsessed with it. I also am a major overthinker. It causes a lot of problems, but it also makes me feel this need to write down my every thought in a blog or in a long snapchat video message to my bestfriend. 

I won't be talking about any relationship troubles I may fall into, but for some reason the more I talk about it and get some sort of "you're not crazy" validation, I feel better. My issue is that I always need to bring up the same issue and discuss it so I can feel more and more validated after each time. Is this anyone else's problem? 

I also have major insecure and jealousy issues. I can be nice of course, but once me and my partner are alone I am quiet and trying not to break down. I try not to make empty promises about not being jealous or insecure when it comes to other girls. I do love Snow and want to be with him, but I can not help to get insecure. What can I do about that though? Communication is key when it comes to these things. 

I am tired of being that person, but I really do not know at all how to overcome it. I try to talk but it gets pushed aside as insecure and not something to deal with. I do not know at all how to overcome jealous and insecure thoughts, and it hurts because I want to be able to be friends and talk to more people and just be around. 

Lately, work has been so great but I feel as though other things have held me back from enjoying that. I am tired all of the time and I think it is just seasonal depression. I have been writing a lot more, and started school again. I want to try to get an anime script job again, and maybe I can do it remotely. I also want to publish my book this year. I have to write 10 more chapters by the end of March... that is my goal. I want my friends to read it then I want to copyright it and send it for publishing. Maybe Netflix will see it and love it! Wishful thinking! Anyway, have a great day! 

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