#16 Summertime Sadness

I always felt different. As if I am the only conscious person surrounded by unconscious people. It makes me feel more alone. But I also thought that I was so different from the rest that I felt as though I deserved more. I thought something drastic would happen to me - something important. As if I would be at a concert and the main performer would become friends with me instantly - like in a fan fiction or something. As if I was meant to touch the lives of everyone I could and be inspirational, or just bring joy to their life. As if my life was going to be significant to their life and I would help a lot of people achieve what they dream of. 

As a child I wanted to touch peoples hearts with my writing! I wanted to make people feel the same feelings I feel when I watch an extraordinary show, or read a book. The way I feel giddy, heart wrenched, just overall enthralled in the writing. The show or book has me wrapped around its little hypothetical pinky. I want people to feel that same way about my writing. 

But none of my thoughts are unique. Everyone feels as though there life is important, significant, and special. If everyone feels this way, then is anyone actually special? Whether you’re born famous or not, is it really significant to anything? 

Do you know you’re a conscious person? If you lay down in the grass and stare up at the sky until it turns dark, will the world stop until you choose to get up or will it keep going on without you?