#5 Can't Have Snow Devils

Love can be full of surprises, as well as disappointments. It is always good to embrace the pain- work through it. I said before that it is okay to be heartbroken over someone you technically didn’t date, because you were still emotionally attached to them… But, sometimes you think "How dare I feel that way?" "He isn’t mine, so why should I feel that way?" His heart could belong to someone else, but what a heartbreaking thought… 

Sometimes I know I put Snow on a pedestal. He can actually be such an ass and just say the wrong things when we are having a good time- and I genuinely want to punch him, but instead I just call him stupid. Because he is. And, I get it. I am also stupid. I let him, an emotionally unstable grown man hurt my emotionally unstable sensitive self when I knew from the beginning he would get me into trouble. 

Maybe it is my current mood, but this guy is really infuriating. And it makes me laugh just typing it! He says he’s happy when I’m happy, and likes seeing me happy, but what is that? Friendship but with benefits? I don’t know how much I can really handle if this lasts any longer..

It doesn’t help that I don’t know when to shut up. I project my emotions onto him. When I am having a bad day I just want to scream “why don’t you want me?!” or “are you using me for character development!?” 

Those are definitely things I want to know, but couldn’t ask because… well, we aren’t together. When is a good time to bring up emotions? Is he going to one day just end up ghosting me then attempt to come into my life when he figures his out?

There were a lot of things him and I haven't discussed. We aren't a couple, so do we talk about things? Do I just say "hey, what's gonna happen with us?" Am I- or is anyone ever ready for that kind of conversation?

When you aren't dating someone you have feelings for, when do you think it is the best time to talk about them? Or is patience key to any kind of relationship? 


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